From the moment we began Luke's adoption, this is what I felt- Peace. And every day, the Lord led me to scriptures or just little things throughout the day that reminded me of this. We knew that God had placed Luke on our hearts and in our life. I bought myself a small, inexpensive peace sign necklace to help remind me of this blessing and of God's faithfulness as we waited. Every time I would read about peace in the Bible, Luke was the first thought that came to mind. It filled me with such joy, feeling so close to the Lord, that He would "whisper" encouragement to me throughout the days and months.
When our adoption of Luke was placed on hold and as the picture of holding him began to fade, so did my hope. And my peace. And my joy. For weeks now, I have allowed my joy of life to fade. Knowing very well, how very much I have to be thankful for ,each and every day, my sorrow has overshadowed my joy.
We are still waiting to hear if China will allow us to complete our adoption of Luke. We are praying and believing that they will. This is a tough wait. I am praying that God will reveal to me what it is He wants me to learn from this trial. One, tiny breakthrough I have had though, is the hard realization that with or without Luke, I must remain Thankful. Luke is not my Peace. Luke is not my Joy. I can only find these things when I keep my heart and mind focused on Him.
P.S. For everyone who donated to Mama Kong, please do not worry- I am waiting to hear from her son how I can transfer the money that was donated, to his China account, for her. As soon as it is done, I will let you know. Thank you again.