Hope

Hope is my word for this year. Gracious, how I have so much to learn still! How we can have peace as well as hope in the very midst of pain and heartbreak. I cannot lie- I was not sad to chunk my 2012 calendar in the trashcan come January 1 2013. Going through my 2012 calendar so that I could write Birthdays and special occasions for 2013, reminded me month by month what we were doing during our wait for Luke...Homestudy visits, DTC, an amazingly quick LOA, I800 approval,etc... It also reminded me of the pain we were experiencing with Kelly- appointments, birthday, school events, and then, the day we flew her to meet her new family. Heartache.  And then the months waiting to hear the news from China- the waiting- the hoping. And then the news. But I am writing this with great hope. We are praying that China will change their mind- we have asked them and explained multiple times. We know that they don't typically do. That it will be a pure miracle. And if they do not, we will accept that. With hope. And peace. And believe that God must be up to something far bigger than we can imagine.

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Sometimes the answer is "no"

China will not allow us to complete Luke's adoption. This is not at all what we were expecting and the opposite of what we were praying for. There is a big hole in our hearts that I think will always be there. While we don't understand this at all, we do know that God loves Luke more than we do and that this is His will. Thank you for your prayers.

Miracles

They do happen today. That is what we are praying for and believing in. If you would pray for us, we would be so thankful. We were told last night that China will make a decision within a week. Greg and I truly believe that they will allow us to adopt Luke. And we are praying that they will not make us update our homestudy, but pick up right where we left off which would be traveling for Luke. Thank you for your prayers.

Peace

   From the moment we began Luke's adoption, this is what I felt- Peace. And every day, the Lord led me to scriptures or just little things throughout the day that reminded me of this. We knew that God had placed Luke on our hearts and in our life. I bought myself a small, inexpensive peace sign necklace to help remind me of this blessing and of God's faithfulness as we waited. Every time I would read about peace in the Bible, Luke was the first thought that came to mind. It filled me with such joy, feeling so close to the Lord, that He would "whisper" encouragement to me throughout the days and months.
   When our adoption of Luke was placed on hold and as the picture of holding him began to fade, so did my hope. And my peace. And my joy. For weeks now, I have allowed my joy of life to fade. Knowing very well, how very much I have to be thankful for ,each and every day, my sorrow has overshadowed my joy.
   We are still waiting to hear if China will allow us to complete our adoption of Luke. We are praying and believing that they will. This is a tough wait. I am praying that God will reveal to me what it is He wants me to learn from this trial. One, tiny breakthrough I have had though, is the hard realization that with or without Luke, I must remain Thankful. Luke is not my Peace. Luke is not my Joy. I can only find these things when I keep my heart and mind focused on Him.

P.S. For everyone who donated to Mama Kong, please do not worry- I am waiting to hear from her son how I can transfer the money that was donated, to his China account, for her. As soon as it is done, I will let you know. Thank you again.

Devastated

This is how we felt on Thursday when we received the news shortly after my last post, that we may not be able to bring our son home. We are waiting. I'm not completely sure who we are waiting on or when we will receive some kind of news. We woke up on Thursday morning expecting to travel for Luke in about 3 weeks and we went to bed Thursday night not sure if we would ever meet him at all. Please pray that we will be able to adopt Luke. Our hope is in the Lord and no one or anything else.

Very Close!!!!

We are very, very close to traveling for Luke. And we are very excited! Luke has never lived with a foster family, like Cate and Cai did; he has only lived in the orphanage with hundreds of other children. We expect some developmental delays due to this and we are perfectly fine with that! We have been praying for him since the first time we laid eyes on him and know that this is a very special little boy. We have lots of love ready to pour onto him and we can't wait to begin. His name will be George Lucas and we will call him Luke. Luke, because we like the name, and the book of Luke in the Bible has so many great promises. We are naming him George, after "our" George, who when he married Mom, automatically married two little children. Two children who he would have to endure the teen years with and learn to love and accept when surely it wasn't easy. We definitely didn't always agree with George's strict dicipline when we were young, but he stayed by our side and on our side. And while we never called him Daddy, because at the time, we already had a daddy, George was always our father. When our first child was born, we wondered what cute name George would become, but lo and behold, he remained George. But not just any George; "my" George or "our" George. Which just seems fitting. Because it doesn't take an endearing name like daddy or GG, or watever; it just takes a lot of love and acceptance and committment. And that's what George has poured out on us from day one. Even when the times were tough. And that's what we're going to do for Luke.

"Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me." Luke 9:48

And the necklace goes to.....

SHARON!!!!! Congratulation!

Thank you to every one who donated to Mama Kong. And thanks to everyone who spread the word about this family. We can all keep them in our prayers.  I can't wait to tell her how very much she is loved and prayed for.